The New Planet

OMG! I never thought I can be like this. Ohmaygawd!!! This is not happening. Im already a planet. They can already shoot me outside the earth and be a new planet. I am already fat!!! Yikes!!!

Last January 1, 2008, I checked my weight and it was alas it was a good 142lbs. My normal sexy weight! Well I know I am always scorching HAWT and to damn SEXY! I am sexier than Enrique....ofcourse thats already given. mwah!

Well, just yesterday, after I have done my usual back exercise routine I checked my weight. I went to scale and put the small thingy bar to 100 and then the other small thingy bar to 40. well, its not moving down. so i wondered because usually its already shaky. OK I said, let go forward. I slide down the small thingy bar to 45. Ay aba, ang hinayupak na ito hindi bumaba. So I wondered. I went down to the scale and went up again. I gasp and gasp and gasp. This cant be. Di p rin sya bumaba at umuga. There must be something wrong. So i went down sa scale and remove my shoes which is super uber embarassing. I went up again, ay talagang hindi bumaba. Ay, eto kinakatakot ko. Moving the small thing slide to MORE NUMBERS. Hay, I slowly centimeter by centimeter move the small thingy slide....46..... 47..... 48..... ay 48 na ah ayaw pa rin bumaba..... so cge move pa natin ulit..... 49..... well promising nagshashake shake na. ok..... pero di pa steady..... and I am already shaking with shame as I dont want see other people seeing my planetarium weight!!! ok so i still have to slide the small thingy to 50..... huwaaaaaaa!!! its still not down!!! i want to cry na!!! I dont like to see the result na....aaaaahhhhhhh..... OK I have to be brave. I have to know the what I am. Be yourself! You know you can still do it. 51..... ooohhhhh shit, its still not down..... i am already being persecuted and raped and murdered and raped again, aaahhhh ooohhh there there pa. cge pa. raped me pa. ooohhh, not there dito naman.... ok let go back to the scale..... i have to face the reality..... another centimeter and another one and another slide. A loud sound heard all over the gym..... BLAG! its 52.... I am already 152lbs!!! O good graciousness!!! This cant be..... Im like a planet already. this is obesity. this is insance. I feel pathetic now. Henaku!

Anyway, ofcourse. Marami ako sinisisi dito kung bakit ako naging uhm Bilugan at Jessica Mukhang Sago...

1. Yung aking dyowakers ..... almost everyday nya ako pinapakain ng empanada at ensaimada. di kame nawawalan ng ganyan sa ref, sa table, sa tukador, sa garahe, sa kulangan ng aso, sa istante ng vase at kung saan saan pa.

2. Si Ohnie..... sandamakmak ang kanyang pagkain sa station. Kinakain ko naman. Di naman nya ako pinipigilan. Ayaw nya rin mag-gym. Ayan tuloy.....pero mas malaki pa rin sya sa akin.

3. Si Raiza..... lahat kinakain. ay gusto ko yan. pwede kase si Raiza kahit saan. ayaw lang aminin. Hehehe!

4. Si Patrick..... sya lunch partner ko ngayon e. Ginaganahan lalo ako kumain. Motivation yata tawag doon or seduction??? Hehehe.

5. Si Ilona.... ayoko maging payat kagaya ni Ilona. payat na nga wala pang boobelya! nunal nga lng yata yun sa kanyang umbok. Hehehe!

6. Si Ricson..... nawala kase sya ng nakapakatagal..... gusto ko lng ilagay pangalan nya. hehehe.

7. Pagalis ko sa CCC ..... wala pa kase nambwibwisit sa akin na Kano or di ko ng magawang mambwisit sa Kano.

8. Yung station ko ngayon..... malapit kase sa pantry.

9. Di ko na nakikita yung crush ko sa gym..... hindi yung instructor pero yung lalake doon na may magandang mata. Yung kumausap sa akin na tulungan ko sya magspot. Tapos dinikit nya yung tuhod nya sa (expletive) ko. Hay it was heaven. I am not promisucous.

10. Well, atleast buti n lng once a week lng ako umuwi ng bahay sa marikina. Kundi lalo yata ako tataba.

Eto ang nakikita kong scenario sa buhay ko.

Batang Paslit : Taba Taba Taba! Bwahahaha!!!!
Me : Di naman e. Di kaya! waaaaaahhhhh
(after a few minutes.....my hands are alreay bloodied) So BEWARE OF THE KILLER TOMATOES!!! Di ako mataba! OK!